One of my favorite pastimes used to be letting my husband know when he hurt my feelings. Of course, it never crossed my mind to take into consideration the extenuating circumstances of the day that might have caused my feelings to be more easily hurt. For example, sleeping through my alarm, a tough exchange with one of the children, hunger, hormones, etc. It was just, You hurt my feelings and now you’re going to hear about it.

Then, I was taught to wait. W.A.I.T.: Why Am I Talking?

If G-Man wrinkles my knickers now, I wait. If after several days I still remember the knickers I was wearing and what he did to wrinkle them, it’s likely to be something we should talk about. (Another reason weekly date night comes in handy—things don’t pile up).

As you might imagine, this time-lapse allows for a much calmer, well-thought-out, and loving exchange. I also think my feelings can be honored more when they’re not being reported daily (or hourly, depending on the week). Taking time helps me decipher the distinction between general crankiness and concerns we genuinely need to discuss.