Since this is the last week in February, let’s revisit the topic of love one more time. You’ll remember that we talked about Navigating Love and Forgiveness in the beginning of the month and the Power of Genuine listening right before Valentine’s Day. Today, I’d like to focus on one thing I can do if someone in my life isn’t taking care of themselves. My hope is that if there’s someone in your life who needs to hear this message, you will forward this post to them.

Empathy in Action: Addressing Loved Ones’ Challenges with Self-Love

I have people in my life who I love but who have trouble loving themselves enough to reach out for help, whether they need it for their physical, emotional, or mental health. While ruminating about my concern for someone recently, I realized just how much their choice to not care for themselves affects me. The thought of this person’s health declining was getting me in such a state that I ended up picking up the phone to let them know how much they mean to me. Among other things, I explained to my friend on their answering machine, 

“When you care for you, you care for me.” 

Controlling What We Can Control: Connection Through Compassion

We talk a lot here at Confessions about not being able to control other people or what they do. But we also talk a lot about the fact that we ourselves have infinite control over what we do and the choices we make. So no, I can’t make another adult go see a doctor, or get themselves out of the house, or seek counseling for something that’s weighing heavy on their heart—I can, however, let them know how much I care about their wellbeing. I can tell them how much they mean to me. I can share with them that when they take care of themselves they are also taking care of me. I can also go on to explain the impact that not having them in my life in the same capacity has on me.

Navigating Anxiety with Love: Embracing Vulnerability

Unfortunately, my anxiety over someone else’s welfare can sometimes come out as anger. Rather than showing love, I use scare tactics or force to attempt to coerce these fragile friends into action. A compassionate approach feels more in-line with what I crave when I’m in a compromised state. I don’t need people frightening or manipulating me; I need love. 

Years ago, G Man played a song for me that really helped me better understand my approach specifically to the people in my life who struggle with addiction. This line from Ray LaMontagne’s song “Hannah” is a helpful source of reflection whenever someone in my life is in pain…

I’ll lay down this bottle of wine,
If you’d just be kind to me.

My words might not have any impact on my loved one, but if I lead with compassion, at least I’ll know that my connection with them is full of love rather than fear. Thanks for listening, Team~