Hey there, TeamConfessioners—guess what time it is? It’s time for another Confessions Conversation. Today, my friend Rachel Joffe joins me in the studio. For over twenty-five years I’ve watched Rachel go through major surgery, take in family after Hurricane Sandy, start businesses, raise a child, support her family, cope with untimely loss, and most recently—I’ve watched her manage and operate a LEGO business she once knew nothing about. I’m so friggin’ proud and inspired by everything she’s created and continues to hold up. Jeez, now that I think of it—Rachel’s kind of like a LEGO herself—no wonder her husband was so in love with her.

After you listen to our conversation, please be sure to check out the links I’ve posted for Rachel’s store, Bricks & Minifigs —which is an all-ages toy store specializing in new and used LEGO products. Customers can buy, sell, and trade LEGO there. And the store is constantly hosting special events. Rachel not only brings in LEGO Masters, she also offers great membership deals. So if you’re on Long Island—or planning a visit—swing by their new location in the Great South Bay shopping plaza in West Babylon. They’ve got exciting things happening over Thanksgiving weekend, so bring your kids, your grandkids, yourself—and when you see Rachel and her lovely daughter Daniella, tell ‘em Mags sent you!

Now, for our Conversation. And we really jump right in here, Team, so make sure all your hands and feet are in the vehicle because this conversation takes right the heck off!

Transcript: Confession time Team —This is just a transcript of our conversation and it favors function over perfection. So yes — there will be typos, and moments where the transcript program just gave up. Please read with grace (and maybe your imagination).

MAGS: Rachel, can you tell us what life was like in April of 2023 for the Joffe family?

RACHEL: April of 2023 — we were running around like chickens with our heads cut off. I was running a full private practice and getting ready to open a whole new business, and my husband was running around getting ready to open an amazing LEGO store. I think at that time he had just received these really cool lightsabers, and we were playing around with them in the living room, having a whole LEGO lightsaber fight and videoing it — really having a good time. We were both getting ready to launch some new big adventures.

MAGS: And you guys have a daughter together, right? How old was Daniella at that point?

RACHEL/MAGS: Was about to turn thirteen. Thirteen.

RACHEL: Right. She would’ve turned 13 and was about to have her bat mitzvah.

MAGS: So was the store going to have a soft opening on May the Fourth?

RACHEL: May the Fourth is a very special day in LEGO world — they consider it Star Wars Day — and it was very important to Larry too because he was a major Star Wars fan.

MAGS: Right. He grew up right in that generation.

RACHEL: Yeah, he was a Star Wars person for sure.

MAGS: So then bring us to May 4th.

RACHEL: May 4th was chaotic, as you’d expect. We were running in sixteen different directions. It was the last day of a week of eighteen-hour workdays trying to put together a store. We were a franchise, so corporate was in town helping us unpack and get the store ready for launch, because our grand opening was scheduled for May 6th. We were meeting Adam, our corporate person, for the first time; he was helping us organize, and we were cracking jokes and everything else. It was a typical, crazy, chaotic day. And then it changed. He told Daniella, “Go get me…” He wasn’t feeling good. And I was like — now I’m putting out tablecloths, getting the food out, people are going to be here any minute — and he’s like, “Just go get Mommy.” And he said, “I don’t feel right.” And I’m like, of course you don’t feel right, we’ve been working like dogs! This is it, it’s a big moment, you know?

MAGS: Mm-hmm.

RACHEL: And I said, “Did you eat anything? Let’s sit for a minute, take a breath, eat something.” I thought maybe his sugar was low or he was having a panic attack — the moment of truth was here. It was the only thing that made sense, you know?

MAGS: Absolutely.

RACHEL: Then he’s like, “No, I want to lay down.” And I said, “You want to lay down? Do you want to take a breather, go outside, get some air?” He said, “No, I just need to lay down.” And I looked at him, and he went to lay on the floor. I said, “Why are you laying on the floor?”

MAGS: Uh-huh?

RACHEL: I said, “Okay, all right, we’ll just sit here for a minute.”

MAGS: And I want to explain too, because I know Larry — and other people don’t — it would be in his personality that this emotionally would be huge. Huge, right? He wasn’t a man who put himself under this kind of pressure. He’s got corporate there, he’s got family and friends, he’s opening a store in two days — this is a high-pressure situation. So for you, of course you thought: he’s going to crash under this, maybe have a panic attack. That would be within his personality.

RACHEL: A hundred percent. And being the wife that I am, I’m like, oh, he’s got a man cold. That’s normal — great timing, right?

MAGS: Right.

RACHEL: So I didn’t think anything was up. We were just sitting there, talking, and then Adam from corporate came back and said, “Maybe you should call 911.” I said, “All right, whatever — we’ll send him to the hospital, fine, check him out.” I really didn’t think anything was wrong. And then he made a face — a face I’ll never forget for the rest of my life. I said, “Okay, get here fast,” because something was wrong.

MAGS: Mm-hmm.

RACHEL: But he was still talking, and even the EMS thought he was having a panic attack. They were asking him history questions and everything. But they did their diligence — they brought him in the ambulance, did an EKG, and said, “We have to take him to the nearest hospital.” I happened to know someone that worked there and called them. I said, “Listen, my husband’s coming over there. We have friends and family — I don’t know if I’m coming or staying to run the store, but are you working tonight?” He said, “I’ll call everyone and let them know you guys are coming.” We got put in this room — and I thought we were just getting VIP treatment because I used to work in hospitals. When you know someone, you can kind of get where you need to go.

MAGS: Right.

RACHEL: So nothing seemed weird to me. I even said to Adam, “Should I go or should I stay?” He said, “I got this, just go, make sure he’s okay.” I was going to send him home in an Uber — I said, “Come on, get over it.”

MAGS: You were tag-teaming, like, okay — you manage your panic attack, I’ll take care of the store.

RACHEL: Exactly. “Get over it and get back here, take an Uber.” His mother shows up with a welcome cake and congratulations for the grand opening. She’s with her brother-in-law. I called my sister — she’s on the way. I called my friends, said, “All right, little beeline, we’re going to the hospital. You can go to the store or meet me there.” My daughter had her friend with her, we’re all there — it’s a big celebration. We’re at the hospital waiting for Larry to be seen. Then the doctor comes out with his head tilted, and I know that tilt. I’ve worked in emergency rooms for thirty years.

MAGS: Mm-hmm.

RACHEL: And I screamed like a crazy person. My daughter thought I was some stranger — she said to her friend, “Listen to that crazy person screaming, what an idiot.” She didn’t know it was her mother. She didn’t know it was her mother being told her husband wasn’t here anymore.

MAGS: Right.

RACHEL: His mother came in and fell to the floor — she had already lost a daughter. I don’t really remember anything after that moment. I know I talked to people. I even asked Adam months later, “How did you even know he passed?” He said, “You called me and screamed.” I said, “I did?” Everyone loved Larry. The EMS people liked him because he was joking with them. The doctor liked him and was destroyed, because he was joking with them. He came in talking —

MAGS: Uh-huh.

RACHEL: He was talking to them, and in the middle of the cardiologist and the ER doctor being with him, he crashed. They couldn’t bring him back for an hour and a half. They tried — they were dumbfounded. I had no idea. I really thought we were dealing with a man cold. My husband was a healthy guy — he would run, bike, eat healthy. Food wasn’t even that important to him.

MAGS: So now you own a store that isn’t really your store — it’s your husband’s baby — and you still have your own business.

RACHEL: Right. Yeah. What do I do?

MAGS: I’d love for you to explain to us the grief process.

RACHEL: The first thing I did was go into overdrive — and denial. One minute I was joking, the next I was having a crazy conversation, the next I was crying. I had a whole team of corporate people looking at me like, “What are you going to do? The grand opening is in two days.” I said, “We’re not opening in two days, but…” It was either Memorial Day or May 20th — May 20th was Larry’s birthday. I said, “Let’s open on his birthday.”

MAGS: Mm-hmm.

RACHEL: I’ve got to tell you — I knew nothing about LEGO. I couldn’t even build it, let alone identify anything. So I was like, okay, dig in. Actually, I learned something working in the emergency room — I watched people face the worst things in their lives, and my job was to get on the floor with them and help them get up. To talk them into a place where they could stand up straight and maybe get through. I watched them take that next step — and you don’t have to know where you’re going, or what you’re going to do. We’re hardwired to survive.

MAGS: Mm-hmm.

RACHEL: So I knew I was going to survive. I didn’t know how, but I knew I had to take a step and figure it out — and that drove my energy. My family swooped in and micromanaged the whole process, which I needed. What do you do? Your whole life savings is in this business.

MAGS: Mm-hmm.

RACHEL: Then you have to plan a funeral, which is not cheap.

MAGS: Mm-hmm.

RACHEL: Then you have to figure out next steps — how do you open the business? What do you do with your practice? Your daughter? What do I do? So I had these moments of clarity where I could write something down, come up with something good to say. I went into autopilot — that’s what I do. I make decisions, I problem-solve. That’s what I do for a living, that’s what I’ve done my whole life.

MAGS: Mm-hmm.

RACHEL: I went into autopilot and just did what I do naturally. Because you’re somewhere else. You’re not processing — you’re in total denial. It’s like you close your eyes, and when you wake up, the things that were supposed to be there aren’t there. You’re kind of dissociated from your norm — observing yourself from a distance. Like, who is that person and what is she doing?

MAGS: Yeah. I had that experience too — where you can hear words, people are talking, but you’re not attaching to what’s being said. You kind of feel like you need to be wound up and pointed in a direction. For people who have loved ones going through grief or deep loss — can you explain how limited your capacity was for normal relationships during that time?

RACHEL: Yeah, it’s interesting. As a therapist, I hear stories from people who’ve lost someone, and they tell you all the stupid things people say. One of the things I say to my clients — and to myself — is that there’s really no stupid thing to say to someone in grief, because no one knows what to say. What is the “right” thing to say? What could make someone feel better?

MAGS: Mm-hmm.

RACHEL: Nothing. So the fact that people try to say something — I told my daughter this too — just let them say whatever they’re trying to say. They’re trying to be there for you, trying to be supportive. Everyone’s reaching out — bringing a meal, asking if they can help. My sister did my recycling — thank God, because there are certain things after you lose a spouse that you just can’t do.

MAGS: Yeah. You hated doing them before…

RACHEL: Exactly. And I was so grateful that he did them. When people step in and do those things, it’s incredible. I had a team — we were planning my daughter’s bat mitzvah, and friends came over and just did my backyard. Someone was power washing, someone was opening the pool, someone putting out furniture — it was like an army setting up tents and doing things. That’s the stuff that saves you. As someone who never accepts help — to have that? The gratitude was immense. I could never repay it.

MAGS: Mm-hmm.

RACHEL: I wanted to write thank-you letters or send texts, but I had no time, no energy, no bandwidth. I didn’t read the cards people sent me for six months because I couldn’t take it in — but I appreciated that they were there. How do you pay people back? You don’t know how to take it in.

MAGS: Right. Or even how much it means to you.

RACHEL: It means so much.

MAGS: I understand. Like when my kid gets me a glass of ice water, I’m like — no, you don’t understand, you’re taking care of me in such a real way. Thank you so much. And I want to say, because we talk about perfectionism and recovering from it — through my own grief process, I was surprised, even hurt, that some people I thought were close didn’t reach out at all. But I was able to get to compassion, because I knew — like you — they just didn’t know what to say. My brother was 44, nobody expected it. But it’s such a good plug for showing up, even if it’s not perfect. Send a card, make a call, say “I don’t know what to say.” Showing up means something — even if it’s the wrong thing. You can do it in a way that works for you. You’re such a loving, compassionate person, and I think that’s important for people to hear.

RACHEL: I want to speak to something you just said. As a loving, compassionate person who’s supposed to know the right thing to do — not ever having gone through grief myself before — I didn’t. I had another feeling during this process: guilt. Like, how many times did I not show up in the right way for people?

MAGS: Oh, interesting.

RACHEL: I thought about that — how many times was I in my own world and didn’t show up? I didn’t know what people needed. So what you’re doing here — sharing what people can do, why it matters — I didn’t know those things. If I can share — you rubbed my feet. That was such a blessing. It helped me relax for two minutes.

MAGS: Mm-hmm.

RACHEL: And now you nag my daughter to do it too.

MAGS: Daniella, if you’re listening — rub your mother’s feet!

RACHEL: Right. She fights back with you — but that’s an important friend to have in your life.

MAGS: Mm-hmm.

RACHEL: Someone who’ll tell your daughter to rub your feet on a regular basis — that’s stellar advice.

MAGS: Exactly. If we’re going to give kids any advice, it’s: rub your parents’ feet.

RACHEL: But here’s the thing — I don’t know what I don’t know, until I know it. Now I have that information, and I can be better.

MAGS: I also don’t think it’s too late to go back and say to someone, “When you lost your spouse, I got it wrong. Now that I’ve been through it, I understand.” There are so many rites of passage — having a child, buying a house, getting married, losing a parent — and they’re all unique. You simply don’t know what someone’s going through until you’ve lived it. Every rite of passage is different. I ran into a dad at the YMCA the other day, surrounded by little kids, and he said, “It’s such a fun time.” I said, “That was not my experience when I had four little kids who weren’t parking-lot savvy.” I was exhausted! He looked so refreshed and happy — and I thought, huh, we all experience things differently. It’s good to remember that.

RACHEL: Mm-hmm.

MAGS: Everyone’s going through something at a different time. So tell me — what’s life like now that you’re a little farther away from it?

RACHEL: Still chaotic.

MAGS: Mm-hmm.

RACHEL: It’s really interesting, because twice now I’ve had this opportunity to roll the camera back — to realize how many things you do in a day that are actually significant. Every year we have an anniversary at the store, which is now open, running, thriving, and going in a million different directions. I get to reflect and roll back through the pictures and think, Did I really do all that?

MAGS: Uh-huh.

RACHEL: It’s so interesting. As a social worker, we do a lot of things — and sometimes our emotions don’t match them.

MAGS: Mm-hmm.

RACHEL: To outsiders looking at me, they’ll say, “This woman is a powerhouse. She opened this store, hit the ground running, ran events, created a community.” And inside I’m thinking, I don’t know how to do this. I’m stuck on stupid here. I joke with my staff all the time: “Don’t wait until you’ve got your stuff together to make it all happen,” because that doesn’t happen. It happens after. When you look back, you think, Wow, I’m pretty strong. But it’s not congruent to what you feel going through it. I’m always vulnerable — I make decisions, I innovate, I execute — and inside I’m like, Oh God, is that going to work? I hope it does. Quite often it does — and that’s where confidence comes from. But it’s never before; it’s after. I shoot from the hip.

MAGS: Yes, and you definitely have the kind of personality that could take on an entire business you knew nothing about — right after your husband passed away. I’ve gotten to bear witness to this miracle in front of me, and I knew you had the skill set because you’re a businesswoman and you’re so good with people. After this tragic situation — that you and Daniella, and honestly the rest of us (because I adored your husband too) — have all had to process, what are your hopes and dreams now? Where do you see this going — the LEGO business, your strengths as a therapist, your community?

RACHEL: I can’t tell you that without a funny story. My husband was methodical — everything had a time, a space, a sequence. I’d sit on the couch and say, “So when you open, we’re going to do parties, right? I’m already checking out local bars — we could do bar nights, maybe wrap a van and go to people’s houses to run parties.” He’d say, “Rachel, can I just get open?” And I’d say, “Okay, but I’m keeping notes. When you open, this is what we’re doing.” He’d say, “Can I just get open?”

MAGS: Yeah.

RACHEL: And because my husband was a jokester, I can say this jokingly — he unleashed me by default. Now I get to run the parties, and he’s laughing. A psychic once told me, “He’s in the store all the time — he says, ‘Now she’s the boss and I’m the employee, and I have to watch her.’”

MAGS: Oh, that’s so cute.

RACHEL: And he would always say I was the boss too. He was a man who could own the fact that the woman runs the show.

MAGS: Right — like, please run it for me.

RACHEL: Exactly! I have this vision: LEGO is expensive, and I want everyone who wants to use it to have access. I want to put LEGO in the hands of anyone who’s ever wanted to touch it, regardless of ability to pay. I want to be that LEGO lady — the one people see and think, She’s the one who makes it happen. Teachers come in all the time: “Can I get LEGO? I want to start a LEGO club.” There’s so much demand. I can’t give everyone a free basket — but I can do parties, PTA fundraisers, community events. I want to take those small asks and make them bigger. And LEGO, in its essence, connects. That’s what it does. It connects — and it has a therapeutic nature. You take this product that means so much to so many — the collector who loves it, the kid with the racing brain who locks in and suddenly focuses — it connects people.

MAGS: Mm-hmm.

RACHEL: You take those connections and work within your community. That’s where I see my role — combining my social work background with the LEGO mission. I want to create programs for everyone — but I can’t do it alone. So I want to enlist my community to help. Take a LEGO program, run it in a school for six weeks, then hire the students who stand out — teach them skills to deliver those programs. That gives them a vocation, a sense of purpose. It’s therapeutic — it feels good to do something you love and then mentor others to do it. You can do corporate events, sensory sessions, fun builds — I do ladies’ nights, bar nights, Valentine’s nights, community builds. It never stops! It’s a product that can spin in a hundred directions. Since I can’t build it, I’ve got to grow it.

MAGS: Since you can’t follow step-by-step directions—

RACHEL: I can’t! My brain goes all over the place. We had the largest grand opening of any franchise — no one’s beaten us. They’ve opened 200 stores, and we still hold the record.

MAGS: Wow.

RACHEL: In the rain! People wrapped around the building —

MAGS: Yeah, in the rain!

RACHEL: With an owner who’s like, “Is that Star Wars?”

MAGS: Who can’t even identify the product!

RACHEL: Right? People ask, “Are you the owner?” And I’m like, “Yeah — isn’t that funny?”

MAGS: You have this unique quality — for 25 years, I’ve watched you love people who are really hard to love. And I can’t think of a better position for you. Because it’s the love that matters — not which LEGO set it is, or who owns the trademark. People come to your store because it’s a community space. They feel love. LEGO gets them there, but the love keeps them there. So thank you so much for coming in today — and for sharing your story. Hearing what someone else goes through helps us be more compassionate, and reminds us that we’re not alone. Thank you for traveling so many miles to be here.

RACHEL: Thank you for having me. It’s always fun to share this stuff. I can’t wait to hear what I even said — that’s half my world too! I can’t wait to hear the playback.

MAGS: Well, thank you for coming — and Daniella, rub your mother’s feet.

RACHEL: Yeah — rub my feet!

MAGS: So long, Team.

Bricks & Minifigs West Babylon, NY

Bricks & Minifigs on FaceBook

Bricks & Minifigs on Instagram