Because we don’t give our children everything they want, I can sometimes convince myself that I’m not in the business of building tiny-tyrants. But, is that entirely true? Buying things for kids is not the only way to mold a monster. I feed the beast any time I cater to, nurture, or tolerate unacceptable behavior.
I need reminding that it’s never too late to de-monster a child, or anyone else in my life for that matter.
My ‘go-to’ response can be to blame or complain. I don’t always acknowledge my part in the exchange—I’m the one tolerating the behavior. But this is what I’ve observed: If I stop indulging other people’s obvious (or subtle) manipulation, the manipulation has to stop. Why? Because it’s no longer working for the manipulator.
The good news is that I’ve seen this work time and time again in my life. When I change my behavior, the behavior changes. It’s not always a smooth ride, but it’s always worth the effort I put into it.
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Welcome to my blog! Here you can read about what’s on my mind as I try my best to recover from screaming at my kids and nagging the bejesus out my husband.
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Daniel Shay says:
I get it … and I know I do it, but it is sometimes so difficult to make those decisions on a daily basis because the alternative is so much easier and immediate — even if I know I’m making it harder on myself in the future.
Thanks Mags
mags says:
Completely agree.
I always think of that when I’m in one of those stores where they still write up the receipt by hand. You know an automated system would make things so much easier for them, but I’m sure the amount of work you’d have to put in to automate an entire store is more than they can imagine.
At the end of the day, I’m always a MUCH better parent when I prioritize sleep…it’s all about having the energy for me. But, getting sleep with teenagers in the house is not so easy 🙂