When it comes to having faith, I’ve convinced myself that I almost effortlessly embrace God’s plan. My ability to see unplanned things as happening for me and not to me is a muscle I’ve been working to strengthen over the past 20 years. I’ve conditioned myself to see a traffic jam, canceled plans, even a job loss, as something to accept and see opportunity in. BUT—when a family member makes me late, I can go from 0-60 in no time flat. This week I realized that my response looks a lot less like faithing and a lot more like shaming.
The closer someone is to me the more ability they have to agitate me. However, the facts remain—family members are always going to make mistakes, and they’re sure as schmidt consistently going to make choices that inconvenience me. I don’t want my response to be exasperation. I don’t want to make others feel bad about themselves. But I know the only way I’m going to be able to shift my behavior is by recognizing that God is as much at play in these happenings as everything else in my life.
This one might always be a struggle for me, but it’s truly worth the struggle. I know how amazing it feels when someone offers me compassion through my mistakes rather than shame. I’d love to offer that gift to the people I care about most. And this photo is a nice reminder to me that I’m trying to live my life as just another apple. Not the crow.