In our home, this is the time of year when the annual conversations commence around my wanting an artificial Christmas tree, a gas fireplace, and an alternative holiday gift exchange between my husband and I. G-Man brought it to my attention that I was requesting a fake tree, a fake fireplace, and fake gift giving. Hmmmm….when you put it that way… Needless to say, that’s a whole lot of fake for someone who tends to prefer the real thing.

What I realized is that while the tree, the fire, and the exchange are fake, my need for control is so very real. As our children grow and I have to let go of more and more around the choices they make for themselves, it feels really good to find things in my life that I can have more control over. And because I’ve trained myself to control the stuff rather than the people, it makes complete sense that the more I have to let go of managing the children, the more I seek control in other areas of my life.

But this is what’s real about my fake Christmas. I know that it’s real growth for me to express my opinion about customs and traditions when my desires go against social or family norms. However, I also really know that these things I’m requesting affect more than just me, which means I have to take into consideration other people’s wishes and opinions. Just a friendly reminder to myself to pause and ask myself, 

Is this what’s best for just me or is this what’s best for everyone?