There are people who are like exhaust fans for me. Without even realizing it, I can get sucked into their turmoil. What I’ve discovered though is that it’s just a pattern in our relationship. And I have the ability to change that pattern.
While there was a time when I wasn’t aware that I was getting lured, that’s no longer the case. Now, when I feel that shift in energy, I can respond with love and compassion rather than trying to stop, save, or protect the other person from their choices.
I used to question myself when something in a relationship felt off to me. A close friend helped me with this, she simply says, “I know what’s so for me.” That small phrase has cleared up so much confusion. If someone else’s behavior or circumstances feel two cans short of a six-pack, then I give myself permission to lovingly listen without feeling the need to judge, fix, or mend. If it feels unmanageable to me, it’s unmanageable—it’s as simple as that.