A few months ago on a Friday night, G Man and I were at our friends’ barn for a lovely get-together. The gathering was a mix of people we knew and didn’t know, so we were engaged in connection and conversations left and right. But here was the issue, Team, because one of the kids didn’t have their plans 100% locked down, I felt the need to check my cell phone when I’d go back to the main house to help the host. What did this mean? It meant that I wasn’t fully present with the people I’d carved out time for. 

By Sunday, on our weekly FamilyFaceTime call with the college students, I had to bring my concern to the kids. Of course, you guys know I had to start by explaining to the 22-, 20-, 17-, and 16-year-old what life was like in the ’80s when my parents went out. “Grammy and Grampy just told us where they’d be and we only reached out if there was blood or broken bones.” 

But here’s the thing, friends, after listening to the kids’ feedback—turns out, none of them expect me to be at their beck and call all the time. So, this one? It was all on me.

Now, as a parent in 2025, I run the risk of using my cell phone as a twenty-four-hour crisis hotline for mood swings. But what I realized through this experience and chatting with the kids is, this hotline I was manning—it had so much more to do with my desire to stay close to them than it did with their need for genuine help.

Here’s the thing, Team—as the days of the four of them hanging all over me fade farther into the past—I fall more and more in love with these little twerps every day. It’s really true what they say about playing hard to get—absence really does make the heart grow needier. So naturally, the more independent they get, the more I long for connection with them. But being out with friends the other night, it hit me that it’s just as important to pause that connection sometimes. It’s good for me, it’s good for my relationships, and it’s a simple way I can model the behavior I’m expecting of them.

But just so we’re clear, kids—if you’re listening, MamaDe’s not talking about like a long pause here. I’m talking about some dedicated time here and there to engage with my surroundings—please don’t take it personally and delete me from the family group chat.

So, All I Want for Christmas this holiday season is to stay mentally where my feet are when I’m with my friends and family. A simple way to do that is to…

Come up with the plan ahead of time so I can enjoy my time ahead.

And that’s something I can control—whoopeee control! Merry Christmas Mags!

How about you guys—are you good at this, or do you feel like you have to bring your phone with you everywhere you go? Please share your thoughts in the comment section below on my website.

Next week, we’re going to be talking about feedback. Both the feedback we get, or don’t get, from others. We also might try a little 30-day challenge in January that I’ll share with you in the next few weeks. Until then, happy holiday time—and please—be gentle to yourselves. Thanks for listening and take care~