One thing I love to do at this time of year is to come up with my meal plan. So, the other day I pulled out a document I had created in 2016. The “HONEST” meal plan. Several times in this document I used the word ‘honest’ like a horsewhip. There were multiple calls to face reality, while ironically writing phrases like “be gentle to yourself.” But putting those ‘kind’ words in uppercase bold-face type? I think you’re missing something, Mags.

Being honest with myself is extremely important to me. It’s been one of the major players in discovering behaviors and patterns that were inviting sadness and unneeded challenges into my life. But if I’m using honesty as a brutal weapon, I not only risk hurting myself, that practice can also lead to projecting harsh “honesty” onto others.

When I took a step back from my HONEST meal plan, it wasn’t so much honest as it was ABUSIVE. As I severely edited the document, I replaced the demands for honesty with encouragement to trust what I know about myself and my relationship with food. Instead of writing “NO” foods, it now reads, “Foods that don’t work for you…” If one of my goals is to be kinder to myself and others, it won’t hurt to pause before I accidentally dress up rigid judgment in a, “I’m just being honest,” pinafore.