One thing I have to keep in check is my pleasability meter. For a long time, without even realizing it, I was hard to please. I just had these made-up lists of expectations in my head that I thought my friends and family should comply with. Things like: You have to be on time; you should stick to the plan once we’ve made a plan; you should properly thank and appreciate me for doing things for you (even if you never asked me to do them in the first place!).
Now, I actually have a lot of Easy Pleasies in my life. They don’t come to the relationship with all of these rules. They’re fine if I don’t call them back; they’re completely understanding if I have to change plans last minute; they never meet me with sarcasm if I miss a step or fall out of touch for a while. And wow, it feels AH-MAZE-ING when people make life easy for me. So, if I love when someone is super understanding with me, and that kindness brings me overwhelming relief, why wouldn’t I try to do that for others?
Because I had all of the same demands of myself that I was putting on others, I was able to see how this wasn’t only hurting my relationships, my expectations were also hurting me. I’ve found it incredibly helpful to learn from my Easy Pleasies to better accept what others can give, which has led me to more lovingly accept what I’m able to give. And while I may not be a full-fledged Easy Pleasey yet, at least now I’m headed in a direction that brings me so much more peace.
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