Team, I just got off a tear-filled phone call with my husband, G Man. I’ll end the suspense—it was my tears filling the call, not his. G’s kinda used to these emotional tailspins, of course, but this most recent one must have been brewing inside me for quite some time because I could barely get the words out to tell him why I needed to pause before going through with a new family car purchase. Team, I was struggling with getting a smaller car. I was about to purchase another giant SUV—a truck that’s now entirely too big for us, just so everyone could be comfortable in it for the approximately two, maybe three, times a year when all six of us travel together in my car. But what it really came down to friends was my resistance to let go of an era that has now officially passed.   

My emotional response to letting go of the giant family car got me thinking about something I realized a few weeks ago. You’re not going to believe this, but one of my teenagers was being dismissive of me! I know, huge surprise, right? But in all seriousness, it’s very age appropriate for teenagers to reject their parents and it’s actually a very healthy progression in their development. However, sometimes that rejection can trigger a need to hold on to them even tighter. I want to react like a Chinese finger trap, “The more you pull away, kiddo, the tighter I grip!” But once I get over the initial sting and put my ego aside, I think through what I know about squeezing something. The tighter I squeeze, the more likely something is to change its shape. I don’t want to change my kids’ shape, I want to allow all of them to be the shape they’re supposed to be.

With four growing kids, our TeamDe vehicle just kept getting bigger over the last two decades. But with two away at college now, we’ve bypassed the need for large cars. Moving on from that time doesn’t abolish all of the trips to playgrounds, pools, parks, practices, and beaches. It doesn’t erase singing at the top of our lungs in the summer with all the windows down to Levon by Elton John. While I spent a few days gripping onto the past, I realized that it’s time to let go and welcome a new stage of life. A stage where I don’t have to execute a 10-point turn just to get out of my own friggin’ driveway.

I’ve witnessed first hand how being resistant to letting go of the past can keep people from fully embracing and enjoying what’s right before them. I’ll always miss those days of the kids and me against the world, but I also really appreciate these days when I’m not responsible for everyone’s every move. I can connect with my kids on so much more of a deeper level. And they can teach me things about life, like, ya know—how using punctuation in texts apparently makes it seem like I’m yelling at them.

The more I let go and allow things to take their natural shape, the easier these big transitions seem. And the more I’m able to embrace the changes, rather than pining for what’s no longer there, the easier it is for me to find the joy and happiness in how things are right now.

What about you guys—is there something you’re holding on to that you’re having trouble letting go of? I’d love to hear from you. Please feel free to share your thoughts and realizations with us in the comment section below this post on my website. 

And next week, we’re going to be chatting about what might be at the root of some people’s depression. It was something I had never even considered, so please pop back for that episode. But until then, thanks so much for listening today and have a lovely week, Team. Take care~