The lower half of a child's face. The child's nose is scrunched upward and her teeth are bared. On either side of her face, her hands are clenched into fists.

Mama, Where Does Anger Come From?

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Well, honey, this is what happens with me…

Mama gets tired. Now, we’re good there, nothing too scary about being tired. People get tired. But, instead of getting the rest she needs, Mama pushes herself, which means she becomes overtired. When Mama gets overtired, she actually feels compelled to do more and more and more. This launches her Martyrdom Sequence. The more tired she is, the more she tries to do—for EVERYONE. The more she does for everyone, the more she notices all the things that aren’t getting done. This makes Mama feel like she’s not good enough, which means she has to do better. This begins the Perfectionism Period. The more perfect mommy tries to be, the less perfect everyone else seems. And the thing is, when Mama is doing everything just right, she starts to feel like everyone else is doing everything wrong. Then, she thinks to herself, I know what to do—I’ll make everyone better. And that’s when she catapults into the Micromanaging Phase in her anger journey. Of course, no one likes to be micromanaged, so no one pays much mind to Mama’s requests, rants, and rhetoric. Suddenly, Mama feels like no one in her life knows, understands, listens or cares about what she cares about. Feeling ignored and misunderstood can really bring out the anger in a person.

“But, Mom… couldn’t this have all been avoided if you just took a nap when you needed it?”

Yeah, pretty much.

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    Welcome to my blog! Here you can read about what’s on my mind as I try my best to recover from screaming at my kids and nagging the bejesus out my husband.

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