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Marital Differences – Get It Done vs. Get It Done Just Right

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This weekend G-Man and I will be celebrating our 23rd wedding anniversary. Anniversaries feel like the perfect time to reflect on the differences between my husband and me. This week, let’s highlight the contrast between detail-oriented people and get-it-done people.

Do I have to tell you guys which is which in our relationship? Well—juuust in case you’re new to TeamConfessions, I’m going to confirm that yes, I am the detail-oriented person, and G-Man Master De is my get-it-done guy.

Let’s start by talking about how much I resented get-it-done guy 23 years ago. It used to drive me loco that my husband seemed to do everything 70%. Then I realized, and I talk about this in the episode, Enough Dysmorphia – Unconsciously Doing Everything 110%, that get-it-done guy has been the biggest blessing of this micromanaging-perfectionist-martyr’s life. While I’ll never get back the countless hours wasted doing eve-ry-thing more thoroughly than it ever had to be done, my evolution from resentment to acceptance in this arena has brought so much more peace into our relationship. And, much like other things I’ve learned from my husband, I went ahead and took a page out of his book! Team, you should see how half-assed I do things now—you’d be so proud of me!

BUT—did you guys feel a “buuut” coming?
Buuuut, I think it’s important in the relationship not only to accept the get-it-done approach but to acknowledge that the get-it-done-just-right approach is also very helpful, and even necessary in some circumstances.

Let me offer some examples for you…

  • Get-it-done-just-right-girl is excellent to have on the job when you have water in your basement with the possibility of serious mold growth.
  • Get-it-done-just-right-girl is lovely to travel with when you need to be sure doors are locked, trash has been put out, and passports have been packed. And…
  • Get-it-done-just-right-girl is the perfect person to pioneer house projects on the horizon that need to be completed quickly and on budget.

As my eyes have been opened to both of these approaches, I have to admit, for most things, getting it done is all that’s necessary. But it’s helpful to acknowledge those times when getting it done just right is what the project needs. I think the most important thing in our relationship around this topic is that we need to decide which approach we’re going to use before we start the project.

And I’d like to share this back-and-forth between G and me before I leave you.

We were making our bed together, and I said to him,
“Sometimes I feel like you don’t even know what ‘straight’ is.”
And he replied, “Yeah, but I definitely know what ‘straight enough’ is.”
And there you have it.

Ok, next week we’re going to be chatting about old dogs and new tricks, so be sure to check back with us next Friday. And until then, thanks so much for listening, TeamConfessioners!

 

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  1. Happy Anniversary to a great couple xoxo

    • Thanks so much Kelly!

Welcome to my blog! Here you can read about what’s on my mind as I try my best to recover from screaming at my kids and nagging the bejesus out my husband.

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I would love for you to join me as I work to undo these old patterns and evolve to create a more serene and accepting existence. (And you should know that I still want to ear flick the little knuckleheads {this includes my husband} when they don’t rinse a dish before putting it in the dishwasher — always a work in progress.)
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