When it comes to being a mother, I like to think of myself as being like a body of water. Cool and refreshing, all fun and games, but if you don’t respect me—I can take you down. It reads a little harsh when written… oh well. But what I was missing early in motherhood was the balance between the fun and the fear.

When I was a new mom, I thought my kids would respect and cry out for me simply because I was cast in the role of mother. But my husband would come home and everyone wanted Daddy. Of course, if they needed a drink or a snack, I was the parent of choice. But, if they wanted to be tucked in at night or fell down and got hurt, it was my husband they called for. I knew I had to take a hard look at why my children chose someone else over me when they just needed to be nurtured.

Because I was so depleted from all of my micromanaging, perfectionism, and martyrdom, I was on the road to gain more respect from fear than from love. Hypocrisy is one of the fastest ways to lose someone’s respect. I was teaching the children to be kind and loving but was my tone kind and loving? If I didn’t learn how to be patient and polite to these precious little heathens, not only would I lose their respect, but they could also spend a lifetime trying to search for that acceptance within themselves. Not on my watch.

So, I had to get kinder. Ugh. And less critical. Double ugh. And through a lot of listening, reading, praying, and meditating, I changed. But since being nice to my family members doesn’t come naturally to me, I can’t always decipher when to be nice and when not to be nice. Hence the sign. There’s been too much fun and games around here people! They’re leaving trash all over the house, talking back—they’re running me ragged! Before long the tide will settle, but for today, my job is to remind them of the importance of having a healthy fear of the water.