A MacBook Pro laptop sitting on a table with the phrase, “Never out of site, never out of mind” typed on the screen and the 2 teens talking in the background out of focus.

Never Out of Site, Never Out of Mind – Becoming Less of Who I Really Am

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As I was experiencing yet another pandemic break down the other day, it became clear that having the kids home almost the entire month of February (oh, and the entire year) has completely drained my spirit. My cup is so empty, it doesn’t even look like there was ever any water in it. My mom-brain is going all day, everyday…

I wonder if so-and-so ate lunch. If so-and-so didn’t eat lunch he’s going to get into it with that other one, and that other one is getting strong—bloodshed on Boston Street today… Oh, and I can’t forget to schedule an eye doctor’s appointment for her… (Teeth clenched)… And if I walk into that house and those laundry baskets haven’t been brought upstairs—someone’s going down to ChinaTown.

You get the point. Never out of sight, never out of mind.

But here’s the thing, I’m doing all the sucky self-care stuff like eating right, going to bed on time, working out. But none of the fun self-care stuff like getting fresh air, meeting friends for walks, taking alone time away from the house. My “me-time” right now consists of the hour I sit in a cold parking lot waiting for the hockey carpool to come out—that’s how pathetic it’s gotten friends. I was reminded this week that by putting myself low on the totem pole, I end up feeling low. Betty Crowson goes on to explain, “It is a spiritual axiom that when we don’t take care of ourselves we become less of who we really are, rather than more.

I am so clearly less of who I really am these days. And ya know what? I don’t know that I’m ready to make changes. I don’t know that I have the energy needed to plan showing up for myself right now. I’m just happy to have the awareness of this pandemic’s impact on my soul. I can still convince myself that I have to do all the things I’ve always done the way I’ve always done them. This week, something’s gotta give.


And (if you haven’t already)…


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  1. OOOOH, everything looks so nice over here!! I love your new digs!!

    Its always a treat to see Confessions on Fridays!!
    I love the quote from Betty Crowson quote and I’m going to think of some more fun plans to make!!

    • Kelly,
      The laughter has really helped ~ THANK YOU.

  2. Boy TeamConfessions, a lot of snags as we switch over to these new systems. I’m letting go, but still feeling the disappointment of putting in an awful lot of work and not having things run smoothly. Thanks so much for your continued patience as TeamC works out all the kinks. I really appreciate your support. Sending love~

    • Dear Me,
      We figured out how to reply to these lovely comments on our blog!!!
      Only took one month.
      Go us! Whoopee!
      Baby steps.

Welcome to my blog! Here you can read about what’s on my mind as I try my best to recover from screaming at my kids and nagging the bejesus out my husband.

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I would love for you to join me as I work to undo these old patterns and evolve to create a more serene and accepting existence. (And you should know that I still want to ear flick the little knuckleheads {this includes my husband} when they don’t rinse a dish before putting it in the dishwasher — always a work in progress.)
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