The big discovery I’ve made during my time off this summer is in regard to the amount of time and energy I spend trying to prove myself to those around me. While in the throes of life/motherhood-overwhelm, time and time again I lament versions of, “It’s too much, I can’t keep up.” It truly falls on deaf ears. 

It was brought to my attention that a large factor in emotional exhaustion is when someone’s in a position where they constantly feel like they have to prove themselves to others. That drain didn’t even occur to me. But it’s completely true. If I don’t feel seen or heard in my attempts to explain how depleted I am, that is incredibly draining.

Having learned this, in the later part of the summer I stopped investing all of that energy into proving myself. Instead, I invested it into saying “no” and getting more help. For example, I passed on long-term commitments, I started asking the neighbor to grab my kid more often when I was juggling too much in one afternoon. Seems easy enough, right? Well, wouldn’t you know it…That people-pleasing/feeling-bad-asking-for-favors issue popped right the heck back up on me. It kindly reminded me exactly why I’m always in this too-much-all-the-time position.

Disappointing people is such a trigger for me. So much so, I’m willing to sacrifice my own sanity and health rather than face it. But now I’m facing it, people. I’m declining things left and right and it feels awful. Change almost always feels uncomfortable to me in the beginning. Knowing that, I’m going to feel the discomfort and do it anyway. It’s the only way to stick to my mission for this fall: Do less. Get more help.

Get ready to be disappointed, World!