One of my favorite parts of summer is  spending time with extended family. On G Man’s side, we’re 19 strong now. As you can imagine, the needs of a group that large are constantly changing. Last summer, my heart was calling me to check in with the group to see how everyone was feeling about our annual summer trip.

One of my sister in-laws had a great idea,:to go around the circle and each share what we most look forward to when the group is together. Hearing everyone’s perspectives was both joyful and helpful.

Taking a group conscious is something that was taught to me years ago. The two most important things I learned about taking a group conscious:

1. Your opinion matters.
2. The group will decide what’s best for the group.

These suggestions were such an awakening for me. 

     Wait, you’re saying that both my opinion matters, but it also might not be honored?

     Yes Mags, that’s exactly what we’re saying.

     I don’t get it. 

This is what they had to explain to me, Team: When I express myself in a group, I’m actively taking responsibility as a member of that group. When I don’t share a thought or concern, I set myself up for frustration and resentment. And the reason this isn’t good is that I can easily bring unexpressed negativity into the gathering. I personally want to add to groups I’m in, not take away from the group. So, if I’m not bringing positive energy, it’s my responsibility to do something to change my approach. 

One important note: If I’m always having issues with a group, the issue probably isn’t with the group, the issue is me. If you’d like to read more about this phenomenon, please check out the post I wrote entitled: Emotional Greed – When Someone is Never Enough.

Like most of what I’ve learned in the past 25 years, speaking up is about both taking control and letting go of control. Once the tribe has spoken, no matter what the resolution is, I can still  make the best decision for myself. 

Through the years, I’ve found that “group conscious”method works much better than bitching about something and doing nothing about it. Accepting the group decision may  not always be the easiest choice, but it’s the choice that takes me out of victim and blaming mode. And, when I make choices to take responsibility for my own happiness, I feel empowered–which is much better than feeling power-less. 

As we wind down here to the end of the Season 8, Team, I will have not one but two summer challenges coming at you next week: a mindset challenge, and a writing challenge. Please be sure to tune in to learn all about them. And, as always, thanks so much for listening!