TeamConfessions four-week invitation to learn the language of positive self-talk. We’re using Shad Helmstetter’s book, What to Say When You Talk to Yourself, as our guide. If you haven’t had a chance to pick up the book, there’s a link to purchase it in the show notes, as well as a quick book synopsis that I recorded for you busy Confessioners. 

Are you guys pumped to spend the next four weeks working on more supportive self-talk with me? Maybe some of you are, but maybe some of you are still a little skeptical. Here’s a short (lightly edited) breakdown of self-talk from Shad himself, after more than forty years of studying this work:

In Shad’s words…

From the moment you were born, everything you heard or said or experienced repeatedly has been wired ‘permanently’ into your brain. During the first eighteen years of your life, if you grew up in a reasonably positive home, you were told ‘no,’ or what you cannot do, more than 148,000 times. Over half of the programs wired into our subconscious minds are negative or work against us. Which brings us to the neuroscience of self-talk. 

In the brain, negative self-talk wires your brain to work against you, and positive self-talk wires your brain to work for you. What we have learned from the field of neuroscience is that people who think in the negative wire more neural networks into the right prefrontal cortex of their brains. The part of the brain that causes you to doubt, fear, flee or hide—to not take action, and not solve the problem! This is the brain’s “failure center.” Negative self-talk actually wires the failure center of your brain to be stronger and more active.

​On the other hand, people who think positively grow more neural networks in the left prefrontal cortex of their brains. The part of the brain that helps you search for alternatives, find solutions, take action, and solve problems. This is the “success center” of the brain. Positive self-talk actually wires the success center of your brain to be stronger.

​Most people go through their entire lives never knowing they could have achieved so much more of the potential they were born with. But, their own programs, and their own negative self-talk, stop them or hold them back. This is true of everything of importance in people’s lives—their relationships, their work, their health and fitness, their income, their goals, their dreams . . . virtually everything that counts in life.

The good news is that anyone who wants to change their programs can change them, and very successfully. We know how it works and we know exactly how to do it. The self-talk you practice today is the self-talk that is creating your future. Listen to positive self-talk, stay with it, change your programs, and watch your life grow. You’ll feel better, you’ll do better, and your future will thank you.

​All right—thank you Shad!

At the risk of running a little long today, I’m going to go ahead and share some reframe examples for you because I found them to be really helpful when I first starting this work. And Team, you can find more topic-specific examples on how to rewrite your scripts in Chapters 17-20 of What to Say…

Hopefully these resonate with my fellow recovering micromanaging perfectionist martyrs:

“I just can’t seem to do anything right today.”
Can become: “I’m learning to have patience with myself—things don’t have to be perfect to be right.”

“This outfit looks horrible on me.”
Becomes: “My confidence in how I look doesn’t come from a mirror. It comes from who I am and how I carry myself.”

“I have the worst luck.”
Becomes: “I trust that everything in my life is happening for me—even if the path is unclear right now.”

“I’m so worried about my health right now.”
Becomes: “I never worry. I replace worry with action. Instead of being concerned about my health, I take control of it.”

I hope this is beginning to make sense to everyone. Also Team, another reminder that the Self-Talk+ app is a great resource. It offers a 30-day free trial, so you can download it to your phone and cancel if it’s not your thing. I’ll put a link for that app in the show notes.

Just curious, have you been more aware of your self-talk since we first mentioned it in December? I’d love to hear if this concept has opened anyone else’s eyes like it opened mine. Please drop a comment under this post on my website—I’d absolutely love to chat about this stuff with you guys.

Next week, my friend and talent coach Melissa O’Hara joins me to talk about changing neural pathways and other passages out of overwhelm—don’t miss it. And in the meantime, Happy New Year again—here’s to speaking to ourselves in a super loving and positive way in 2026—yahoooo!

As an Amazon Associate, I could earn a small commission if you shop through my links. It costs you nothing, but helps keep this wildly underfunded oversharing experiment heading in the right direction 😜