Our TeamDe family schedule in September, October, and November was more than I could handle. This fall hit us hard with transitions, travel, events, and health issues straight out of the gate. It was a time when I really needed to give almost all of my attention to our immediate family. But because it wasn’t just my family needing attention, I found myself reflecting on my relationship with martyrdom.

I think it’s in my nature to feel pulled in every direction—even by people who aren’t actively pulling me. At the start of this school year, it became painfully clear how much stress I put on myself to give all my people the time and attention I feel they deserve…even when I simply don’t have the time or energy to give everyone that attention.

In moments like these, I sometimes feel like the only solution is to have fewer people on my proverbial plane of life. But when I think about those passengers, I’m quickly reminded that they’re on my plane because I want them to be, and I deeply value staying connected to them.

That said, Team, I just don’t have as much spunk as some people. Because of this, I have to be careful not to feel like I constantly need to care for every single passenger. When TeamDe needs me—my husband and our children—I have to give myself permission to focus entirely on just those few first-class seats.

This “first-class” visual helped me so much. I wasn’t kicking anyone off the plane; they just had to wait while I focused on serving my VIPs.

It got to the point this fall where, before reaching out to friends, making plans, or saying “yes” to someone, I had to ask myself:
Is this worth having less energy for my kids?

So, as thoughts of checking in with extended family and friends came up (as they do every single day for me), I would simply say to myself, “I wish I had the energy for that..” and I would move on. It was a gentle reminder to conserve my stamina for TeamDe. And sure enough, when things quieted down, I had more time to connect with all the other people I care so deeply about on the aircraft.

Well, speaking of energy—next week we’re going to talk about how I have even less energy in the winter and what I can do about it. I hope you tune back in next week for that…and maybe you can even invite a friend to join the Team with any extra energy you might have!

Until next week, thank you so very much for listening, TeamConfessioners!