Today I’d like to chat about a topic that’s come to my attention since I started this self-talk work. And if you’re newly joining us, I’ve linked a few earlier episodes and resources so you can catch up on our 2026 self-talk journey. 

1. The Book: What To Say When You Talk To Yourself, by Shad Helmstetter
2. The App: Self-Talk+ offers dozens of focused recordings 
3. The Summary: Mags’ book synopsis
4. Post: Self‑Talk Wake‑Up Call – A New Voice That’s Changing Me
5. Post: Self-Talk 2026 – A Mindset Shift I Wasn’t Expecting

It occurred to me early on while reading What to Say When You Talk to Yourself that a lot of my self-talk might sound negative—but to me, it just came from years and years of experiencing the same things over and over again. Like, I’m not being hard on myself, I’m just stating facts. And I’d argue that what could be interpreted as negative are phrases that are really just an attempt to be even more gentle to myself. Let me give you a few examples of what I mean.

Here are a few things I often say:

“I get easily overwhelmed.”

“I do everything slowly.”

“I always seem to gain weight in the winter.”

Now Team, you know all of this stuff is true because I’ve been sharing it for years now at Confessions. But what I’m beginning to understand from Helmstetter is that the way I frame my truths can either reinforce limits or open the door to possibility. Shad teaches me that I can acknowledge reality while also giving my brain a forward-facing, empowering direction.

Here are some reframes for my commonly used examples:

“I get easily overwhelmed.”
Reframe: “I take things step by step, and I trust myself to figure things out.”

“I do everything slowly.”
Reframe: “My pace works for me—I’m productive, not rushed. I move with intention, and I get things done.”

“I always seem to gain weight in the winter.”
Reframe: “I care for my body season to season. I stay mindful and balanced through change.”

Those replacement phrases sound a whole heck of a lot more gentle to me. And while I don’t see myself rattling off long loving sentiments throughout a day, I can imagine saying things like:

“Hey, I take things step by step.”

“My pace works for me.”

“I always stay balanced through change.”

My wish for myself is that, over time, the majority of my words will strengthen the positive, solution-seeking part of my brain rather than feed the doubt, fear, or flee side. For someone who spent years feeling like a victim in her own story, learning to speak to myself differently isn’t just a mindset shift—it’s a life-changing step toward becoming someone I never fully believed I could be.

So while I struggled with trusting this process in the beginning knowing that my self-talk came from years of self-awareness—I now understand that how I speak to myself doesn’t just describe my reality—it shapes it. And in this case, trust, productivity, and balance sound like much better realities than the ones I was reinforcing before.

How’s it going for you all? Has anyone noticed that they’re catching themselves more quickly when they go to the dark side? I’d really love to hear from you in the comment section below this post on my website. And Team, if you listen to the episode on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or another podcast streaming service, please note that there’s always a direct link to the post in the show notes. You can click that and get right over to that comment section by scrolling to the end of the post.

Next week we’re going to talk about another place in my life where this work really matters—how to avoid carving negative pathways into my children’s brains. Please tune in for that episode, and I’ll catch you next week. Thanks so much for listening, Team!

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