Last week I wrote about the change in perspective I had with the people who run late in my life in Left Waiting. I thought it was important to mention another transition I made at right about the same time. When I’ve consciously opened my mind to time and waiting, I start to adjust: If, When, and How I wait for people.

IF: If an event is important to me and I’m going to be resentful because I’ve waited for someone, I take my own car, carry on without them till they arrive or, I choose a friend who approaches time the same way I do.

WHEN: Very often, the time with the person is what’s important to me. Where we’re going or how fast we get there, simply doesn’t matter to me anymore.

HOW: When I’m left waiting now, I see that as a gift. There are plenty of things that I can do with unexpected downtime. It’s also an ideal opportunity to practice my faith. Everything is exactly as it should be.

It’s really about accepting myself, others, and life on life’s terms. I have a right to show up on time, I also have a right to leave if I’m left waiting. I don’t have to time-shame anyone. And one way to avoid doing that is to not set the people I love up for failure—whether that’s concerning time, or anything else. And I’ve noticed that the more gentle I am with myself around time, the more compassionate I’m willing to be with others.