The other day I overheard a fit woman at the gym say to her friend, “Yeah, I just need to lose ten more pounds, and then I’ll be good.” If I had a buck for every time I’ve heard that friggin’ phrase—Hey-Zeus! Now, a recovering micromanaging perfectionist martyr has to be super careful saying things like that though, right? I might think it’s harmless and that I’m just talking about myself, but am I also last-ten-pounding my entire life?

• Work is certainly plugging along, but I really need ten more pounds of growth to feel successful at this point.
• Our house is super, but there are ten more pounds of second-floor improvements I have to tend to before I can truly feel super about it.
• My family is fan-tas-tic, but there are definitely ten more pounds of tweaks I could suggest if someone is asking for my opinion.

I’m an ambitious woman, and I like to set lofty goals. But, I could easily look at my work, my house, my relationships, and ask myself, “Am I settling for less than I had hoped for?” simply because the results don’t altogether match my original vision. Instead, I like to stop and acknowledge that I’m a woman who has chosen to prioritize: family, friendship, connection and serenity. Thanks to my focus on recovery, there are zero feelings of “settling for less.” At this stage of the game, I’m completely focussed on settling INto my life as it is right now.

Birthdays, especially big birthdays like the one I’m about to celebrate tomorrow, are a great time for reflection. Looking back decades ago, when I set out on this road to recovery, the lofty goal I gave myself was to love myself and the people in my life just the way they are. I almost immediately realized that I couldn’t do that until I worked through my tendency to take my control, perfection, and martyrdom to unhealthy extremes. But once I sought out the people and tools to help me do that—I’ve gotten to a place where I can settle into love. 

My hope is that Confessions has been — and continues to be — a place where people facing similar challenges can connect with the lessons and tools that have helped me. Basically, Team, I’m hoping I’ve done all the overthinking so you don’t have to. Just check the Confessions archive for over 350 examples proving that obsessive introspection can, in fact, be a spiritual practice. Who knew?

Team, what better way to celebrate 50 years than with a 5-star rating and review on Apple Podcasts? I know many of you have already made that happen, and I can’t thank you enough! I truly appreciate you going out of your way for me — and hopefully, it was way easier than blowing up one balloon, let alone 50!

Next week we’re going to be chatting about gratitude and a new practice that completely beats the often mundane (in my opinion) gratitude list. I’d love for you to join us next week for that, and as always, thanks so much for taking time to listen today—Bye for now Team!