Sixteen years ago today, G-Man and I got married. I often say that Gregory is the biggest miracle of my life. This feels like the perfect day to reflect on why I feel that way.

I’ve been thinking back to a night in 1994 when G and I were ‘just friends.’ He invited me to sit in the darkness and listen to Tom Petty’s new song, Wildflowers. Looking back on that night now, it was as if that song was G’s quiet promise to teach me something. It was more important to love someone who loves you just the way you are, than to search for someone who wants to improve you.

Twenty-four years ago when we met, I wasn’t looking for someone gentle and accepting as a partner. I was looking for someone to change me because I knew deep down I wanted something to change. In our marriage, as our family began to grow, that hunger for revision became more and more emergent. In the beginning, I thought it was G who needed revising—it was easier for me to find fault in him and maintain that I was the one with all the right answers. We had a much-needed shift in our relationship once I discovered the work had to begin by focusing on myself rather than others when it came to change. 

I thought transformation only came in the form of yelling and shaming. I think God sent G to me to teach me I could become the person I truly wanted to be gradually, and while surrounded by love.

So yes, G-Man MasterDe, I think Tom Petty and you were so right in 1994, I do belong somewhere close to you. Being close to you has made all the difference in becoming a woman who today, genuinely feels free.

Wildflowers, Tom Petty

You belong among the wildflowers

You belong in a boat out at sea

Sail away, kill off the hours

You belong somewhere you feel free

Run away, find you a lover

Go away somewhere all bright and new

I have seen no other

Who compares with you

You belong among the wildflowers

You belong in a boat out at sea

You belong with your love on your arm

You belong somewhere you feel free

Run away, go find a lover

Run away, let your heart be your guide

You deserve the deepest of cover

You belong in that home by and by

You belong among the wildflowers

You belong somewhere close to me

Far away from your trouble and worries

You belong somewhere you feel free

You belong somewhere you feel free