A boy sits on the foot of a bed and looks toward the curtained window in front of him. Light comes in through the window.

Calm Down – 5 Ways to Connect My Head to My Heart

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Just writing the words, “Calm Down” can get me a little fired up. I used to warn suitors, “Do yourself and favor and don’t ever tell me to ‘calm down’.” I think the phrase is my very own version of putting Baby in a corner. I’m someone who has a great passion for life, please don’t even attempt to put that fire out. But much like the invisible rule that you can talk badly about your siblings, but no one else can—I have no problem with encouraging myself to settle down.

A good friend of mine taught me the acronym CTFD. I’m not going to go into detail about what that stands for (there are children reading for goodness sakes). You’re smart people and can understand why it’s my “go-to” phrase when I need to take a deep breath, get a better perspective, and turn down the volume on my pace, my Reactions and/or my Expectations. It can also stand for Connecticut Fire Department. Which is convenient, because when MamaDe is mumbling “C-T-F-D, C-T-F-D” to herself, she can simply say, “Mama just needs to put out the fire in her crazy little head, kids.”

CTFD is about stopping for long enough to allow my heart and my brain to connect. They need each other. But when I’m so flippin’ wrapped up in my life, my brain can take the lead in making all the decisions. When I allow my brain to take the lead for too long, that journey from my heart to my head can feel like a marathon.

These are five ways to make that connection shorter:

  1. Settle down
  2. Connect to something bigger than myself
  3. Breathe
  4. Be gentle to myself
  5. Schedule downtime

If I just take the time to CTFD, that trip can go from a marathon to a few peaceful steps. But it needs to be on my terms, not someone telling me what to do or how to be. You will NOT put this Baby in a corner.

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    Welcome to my blog! Here you can read about what’s on my mind as I try my best to recover from screaming at my kids and nagging the bejesus out my husband.

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