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Emotional Greed – When Someone is Never Enough

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The notion of ‘emotional greediness’ was recently introduced to me. I had never heard the term but I love the idea of attaching the word greed to needing more from someone than they’re capable of giving. Mostly because, just like something else, someone else will never heal the emptiness inside of me.

Sure, I’m certainly allowed to want more, but—is wanting more serving me? And, is it possible that I’m expecting too much from just one person? Am I taking responsibility by inviting different people and experiences into my life to fulfill my emotional needs?

When I have a problem, it’s my problem. Whether it’s loneliness, insecurity, a need for attention, overwhelm, it doesn’t matter. I can share my issue with someone else, but ultimately I have to take responsibility for finding a way out. 

Everyone is always changing and evolving. Maybe someone was able to give me something at one point that they just can’t give me right now. Maybe my needs are changing. Regardless—if I label this feeling as greed, for whatever reason, it motivates me to take the focus off of blaming others so I can put it back on something I can control—my own emptiness and what I’m going to do about it.

There’s a difference between getting what I deserve in a relationship, and always demanding more. And, looking back on my life, it’s been through people not giving me “more” that I’ve made my biggest personal progress. It did, however, have to get pretty bad before I was ready to look at myself and make changes. But that process launched me out of my victimhood. I was able to go out and learn the multitude of things that I need to truly feel fulfilled. And here I thought it was their fault. Once again, I stand corrected.


If you’d like more on this topic, click here to read, The Dangers of Expectations

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  1. Just finished reading Tiny Beautiful Things, Mags. It popped to mind as I read this – similar themes woven through regarding the responsibilities we have to ourselves and those we love. Thanks for sharing.

    • Thanks for the tip Julie, I’ll have to check that out.

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