With Super Bowl Sunday just days away, it feels like the perfect time to revisit a lesson I learned from football—a topic I first covered several years ago.

While watching the documentary series “30 for 30” on ESPN, I found out that one of the best football players in the history of the game couldn’t actually catch a football. For some reason, this completely blew me away. I just assumed that if you’re one of the best to ever play the game—with awards like Offensive Player of the Year, MVP, Male Athlete of the Year, and a flippin’ Heisman Trophy—you’d have to be able to catch a football, right? Well no, I wasn’t right.

That non-football-catching player was a ‘running back,’ a position that doesn’t require catching the ball. The role of a running back is to run the ball after the quarterback hands it to him. It’s wide receivers who are the players who have to be able to catch a football. Two different positions, two different strategies, but they both hope to achieve the same goal—to score touchdowns.

My disbelief over the news that not everyone on a football team can catch a football got me thinking. Wait a second—there are people in my life who are clearly running backs and others who are definitely wide receivers. Have I spent countless hours asking my running backs to “go long” while also expecting my wide receivers to plough through the defensive line? Have I asked people I love to do things they’re not good at simply because I feel like they should be good at them? Oh no…and then have I acted surprised and disappointed by the failed outcome?

Absolutely. But why? Why would I keep running the same play over and over again? Expectations.

Team, I had this vision of who and what I thought the people in my life should be. For example, I might think, “You husband should be able to catch a football so you will be my wide receiver.” And there I was, passing beautiful spirals right to the man over and over again, and over and over again the pass was incomplete. And this might be a good time to remember that he never claimed to be able to catch a football, he never asked to be a wide receiver. As a matter of fact, there were times when I happened to hand the ball to him rather than pass it and we scored touchdowns together. But, I wasn’t going to let that stop me from continuing to demand he have multiple skills and capabilities on the Team. 

I had to learn that just because he’s my husband, or she’s my sister, or they’re my kids, doesn’t mean they can catch a football. And on a deeper level, what bothered me about this pattern in my behavior was what it did to the players on my team. That constant disappointment in someone’s performance only led my fellow teammates to feel badly about themselves. Some people on my team may never admit they can’t catch a football. I also have players in my life who wish they could catch a football, but they just can’t. As the quarterback of my own life, it’s not necessary for me to make my teammates tell me they can’t catch a football. That’s my work. My work is to know my team and play to everyone’s strengths.

When I feel let down by someone in my life, I like to look at my side of the play. Did I expect something from someone who is incapable of giving it to me? If so, then that’s on me, not them. And when I play to everyone’s strengths on the field, I open myself and the team up for so many more wins. 

Enjoy that SuperBowl on Sunday TeamC. I know I’ll be watching a little bit of football with a lot of commercials. Next week we’re going to be chatting about yet another thing I can do to help my relationships. Be sure to tune in for that and thanks so much for listening!

If you liked this post, you might like these posts too:
The Dangers of Expectations – Do NOT Pass to Your Running Back 
Daniel Shay – Why Am I Surprised?
Making the Holidays Easier With Family – Don’t Be Surprised