Team, I really have to talk with you about something that’s been in the back of my mind all spring and summer: finishing strong.

Some of you already know this about me, but in the last few years, a lot of the time I used to spend on: sidelines, ice-hockey rinks, and in the MamaDeMobile schlepping kids around, is now actually spent in my yard. I wouldn’t go as far as calling myself a gardener, because I think you kind of have to know what you’re doing to be called one of those. However, I am a woman who invests an alarming amount of time watering and pruning stuff. Which, as an aside, recovering micromanagers—plants and flowers provide the perfect outlet for anyone trying to control stuff rather than people. 

So, as I was saying, especially in the beginning of the gardening season, I kept noticing all the little things I didn’t do last year that would have made my gardening life so much easier this season. Simple things like how I’d cut stuff back, or store things differently in the off-season. But, this topic got me thinking about finishing strong.

You guys know, when I’m into something, I’m really into it. This can lead to burn out when the end is near. I’ll give you some examples. This summer, I redid a few bedrooms upstairs. We’re talking: paint, flooring, windows, you name it. Team, I finished 99% of this huge project in two weeks. Now, I have one mirror to hang. One mirror, Friends, and it’s been waiting for me for two weeks. I’m also famous for finishing the whole project—but not being able to bring myself to put the tools away afterward. Does anyone else do this?

But, why is it so important to me to finish? It’s not because someone is over my shoulder giving me flack. It’s not because I’m a perfectionist and I need everything “just so.” And, leaving something unfinished does not mean that overall I’m just, “not good enough.” I have to finish because crossing finish lines feels freaking amazing. But, here’s the thing Team, crossing the finish line feels amazing if I sprint, but it also feels amazing if I crawl—it does not matter.

So, the question I can ask is: How can I make crossing the finish line as simple as possible?

1. Get Help: I can ask for emotional or physical support. Maybe fear is at play and I need to talk to a friend or professional about whatever emotions are coming up for me. And for other chores, it’s possible that I have to ask family or hire someone to carry part of the load so it’s not all up to me to complete something.
2. Habit Stack: We learn from best selling author James Clear about “habit stacking.” James encourages us to bring along our favorite: podcast, music, TV show, or friend when trying to accomplish those last bits of dreaded work. Bringing joy and entertainment to an otherwise boring task has had a huge impact on my ability to bring things over the finish line.
3. Set Realistic Goals: We talk here about our buddy Greg McKeown and how he encourages us to, “Know what done looks like.”  There’s a good chance that from start to finish, I had much grander expectations of what “done” would look like in the beginning. Taking the time to readjust that image in my mind to a more realistic goal has been paramount in helping me complete projects I didn’t think I had the strength to get through.

Now, you might be thinking, Mags, this is just hydrangeas, house decor, and your toolbox left out—not that big of a deal! Right? Guys, I agree, not a huge deal when it comes to sedum, mirrors, and drills, but what about when it comes to humans? That’s right Team, I still have two high schoolers to raise. G Man and I have been going strong for twenty-two years at this point, but the work is not complete. When it comes to my two youngest children, having a deeper understanding of how not to peter out becomes incredibly important to me.

But, when I got to thinking about it, I realized that I don’t have to meet this magical vision I have for what finishing strong should look like. I don’t have to finish strong, I just have to finish. 

My old habit was to be super hard on myself when I didn’t feel like I was completing something exactly how I imagined it in the beginning. But, what I’m finding to be so much more effective is to do the exact opposite. At the end of a race, I need that learning-to-walk kind of gentleness from myself. For me, that means getting quiet and lovingly looking at what’s in my way. When I approach those obstacles with care rather than judgement, I’m free to come up with a compassionate plan to make it to the end. And, giving myself the permission to sprint, jog, walk or crawl to that finish line makes all the difference in my ability to get there.

How about you guys—does any of this resonate with you? Do you have any other ways to make the process of fully completing something easier on yourself? I would love to hear your thoughts in the comment section below.

Next week, I might do something I’ve never done on Confessions before, guys. I think I’m going to share a voicemail that I left for one of my kids. So, with his permission, you might get a little glimpse into what my kids have to put up with now that, thanks to modern technology, MamaDe has access to a tape recorder with unlimited minutes and instantaneous sharing capabilities—these poor children. Until then, have a lovely week, and thanks so much for listening.