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How Old Am I Now? Old Enough to Know This.

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This weekend is not only my birthday, but it’s also the blog’s birthday

Happy 3rd Birthday, Confessions! 

Over the past few months, as the three-year anniversary was approaching, I started getting motivated to invest time and resources into this body of work that I’ve been cultivating over the past several years. Ambition was knocking hard on my door once again… or at least that’s what I initially thought. 

This drive to prosper during a pandemic led me to understand my relationship with Ambition in a whole new way. When I took a moment to review my life, I quickly realized that she (Ambition) has actually been there holding my hand the whole time.

Yes, she can be seen in my professional pursuits, but she can also be seen in my overall approach to life. Ambition is with me every time I take my happiness out of someone else’s hands and place it in my own. She’s with me when I admit my faults and change my ways. She’s there when I don’t settle for less than I deserve. She’s also there to teach me to trust in the world’s plan, by recognizing opportunities in every form. And when I really don’t want to do something, even though I know it’s what’s best for me—she simply soars.

God gives me the destination and Ambition leads me there. She’s there all of those days I don’t even want to get out of the car, but I still go for a walk. And when I reach out for help when I just want to keep feeling sorry for myself. And when I admit I’m wrong to someone I love, even though the humility of that can physically hurt at times. She helps me stay out of my children’s business—to let them fall, cry, and make mistakes when I so desperately want to control their choices. I now see that she’s there as much in the being still, as she is in the drive for results. 

It’s deceiving to only credit ambition for my professional drive. Ambition is the pursuit of anything that makes me a better me. And it’s no coincidence that when I finally decided to look up the Google definition for ambitious, it read:

am·bi·tious
/amˈbiSHəs/
adjective

  1. having or showing a strong desire and determination to succeed.
    “his mother was hard-working and ambitious for her four children”

And there you have it.

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    Welcome to my blog! Here you can read about what’s on my mind as I try my best to recover from screaming at my kids and nagging the bejesus out my husband.

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