This Valentine’s month, I’ve been reflecting on loving people who are sometimes hard to love. I was reminded of one of my favorite sayings I adapted from a friend, Planning is hard, but it makes life easy. Not planning is easy, but it makes life hard. Can this phrase also be applied to love? Loving people is hard, but it makes life easy. Not loving people is easy, but it makes life hard.
I can get so frustrated in my relationships when I feel like someone I love is making choices that are leading them down an unhealthy path. And the more invested I am in changing their direction, the more frustrated I become when my efforts appear ineffective. I get to a point where I want to walk away entirely. But, I’m beginning to think I’ve had it all backward…
The hard part with loving others is not the work I invest in protecting and trying to guide them, the truly hard part is letting them go. And I don’t mean walking away, I mean just letting them be. I complicate love when I spend too much time thinking about what someone else needs. I’d be better off investing that time in trusting God’s plan for the future as much as I trust God’s plan for the present.
Maybe I should change the quote to, Loving people is easy, if I don’t make it hard.