As we were running behind schedule, headed to my daughter’s appointment this week, I was stuffed with emotion. Why is rushing still such a trigger for me? This is what I came up with:

1. 1. 1. I know I can’t turn back time = The situation is out of my control.
      2. We might be late = I’m not perfect.
      3. I was ready on time, this is Not. My. Fault. = Enter, Miss Martyr Pants.

Not one, but ALL three of my personality foibles get flipped when I’m running late.
And on the inside I still…

1. 1. 1. feel at fault when something’s out of control.
      2. sometimes feel like a bad girl when I’m not perfect.
      3. convince myself I’m doing a better job than everyone else.

So, what am I going to do about it? Instead of time-shaming my children, I can respond to that anxiety with: Ooooh, this is that thing that happens to me when I’m in a rush. I can speak to that fear inside and let it know that we can let go and have faith that it’s all going to work out the way it’s supposed to. I can remember that I don’t have to be perfect anymore, no one’s going to reprimand me. And, I can get right-sized and recognize that every single person is doing the best they can.

Oh, and don’t let me forget this one! Nine times out of ten we don’t even end up being late. Yeah, I know—it gets awkward. But the good news is, this is usually the point when I have just enough time to apologize to everyone for freaking out. Good times!