Years ago a friend mentioned to me that her office implemented an email policy. The only things company email should be used for were: scheduling, reminders, and reports. I loved this idea. While I’m sure we can all think of times when emails and texts are useful to work through heavy topics, for the most part, when I’m texting or emailing my family, I think of three words: logistics, love, and laughter. 

Of course, things don’t always stay light—right, Team? Every now and then, a message comes through that hits a nerve instead of a funny bone. And please don’t think for one second that I don’t type unfiltered, sarcastic replies when I’m set off by family members. If my delete button could talk, Team, it would be blackmailing me. But, my friends have taught me the art of restraint of pen and tongue. And because my husband and children have so graciously given me many, many opportunities to rehearse the discipline of self-control—I’m actually pretty damn good at it now—if I do say so myself.

One of my most useful tricks—telling myself I’ll be able to send the disparaging message later, I juuuust have to wait until I’m less emotional. This technique works like a charm because time—without fail—always shifts my emotional state. This is not to say I’m not still annoyed later on—no, no, no. This is to confess, Team, that my initial emotional reaction is almost exclusively childish. When I take a breath, I give myself the opportunity to communicate the way I want to—and that’s maturely.

This is how I see the equation:

Annoyance + Time = Mature Response

Friends, I haven’t even touched on the fact that oftentimes, I’ve misread the email or text entirely and I’m reacting to something that isn’t even based in reality. So I ask myself, am I typing a message of logistics, love, or laughter? If not, I have to either move on to another activity, or dial up a friend and process my emotions.

Pausing gives me the chance to respond like a grown-up rather than react like a child. And oftentimes for me, that means taking things off-line and communicating face to face.

How about you guys? How are your trigger fingers? Do your typers need lessons in taking five? Or, maybe you have some pause techniques to share with the class? Please enlighten the Team with your thoughts and ideas in the comment section below.

Next week is my youngest son’s birthday, and I have a little suggestion for him as he enters his sixteenth year. Please be sure to join us for that, and in the meantime, have a wonderful week everyone and thanks so much for listening!