Those kids got back to the safety of school just in time. Mama was starting to struggle with kindness during those last 48 hours. Which provided, yet another, opportunity for a little self-compassion like we brought up in last week’s post, The Magic Ingredient.
I actually remember the first time someone introduced me to this incomprehensible idea. I swear on my children’s freckles, I didn’t have the slightest clue what she was talking about. She said, “Mags, be gentle to yourself.” What? What does that even mean? So, I figured I would share three ways I was taught to take care of myself in case anyone else is also dumbfounded by the concept.
- Do less. One of the nicest things I can do for myself is to simply take things and expectations off of my list entirely. I am only one pie and the more I try to squeeze into the dish, the more all the other pieces shrink. This can be tough for me because so much of my identity is wrapped up in feeling like the more I do, the better I am. Almost daily, I find myself chanting, “Let go and let God, let go and let God….”
- Do it less perfectly. It used to send my knickers into a pinch when G-Man wouldn’t complete tasks. But, like most things with him, I figured, If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. And, as usual, he was really on to something. Doing things half-ass (no offense honey), can really take the pressure off. The mantra I was taught here? “Is there anything I can do less perfectly today?” Why, yes—yes there is.
- Do things for me. I try to rest when I’m tired. I stop and breathe when I’m overwhelmed. And I force myself to tend to my self-care needs before tending to everyone else’s. Meditation, exercise, nutrition, etc. I strive for healthy boundaries with time and people. I try to maintain realistic expectations for myself (while I’m still learning what ‘realistic’ is). And, most importantly, I surround myself with people who know more than I do about how to live a peaceful and meaningful life.
The best side-effect of these three things is that, by learning to give me a break, it’s become so much easier to give others a break. Rather than continuing to judge people for their choices, it’s worked out a whole heck of a lot better to just Watch and Learn.