At some point in history, like when heat hadn’t been invented, I’m sure it was simple good sense to load up the family bed with as many warm bodies as one could stockpile. But guess what, heat was invented friends. By 1805 warm-air furnaces were available, by 1855 we had radiators, and if those don’t suit your fancy? In 1919 you could build your home to include a gas furnace. Why then, I ask you, are we still sharing a bed when it no longer depends on our survival?

We don’t: wear the same clothes as our partners, order the same meals in restaurants, get the same haircuts, work at the same desk, or share deodorant—why then, are we spending the most precious hours of our day right flippin’ next to one another? This is such a horrible idea. 

Now there are a mob of spoon-snugglers out there thinking: Mags, how on earth can you say such a thing? Don’t you want to connect with G Man at the end of a long day? BUT, I’m guessing there is also a bunch of ladies out there (of a certain age) who are like, “Woman, preach!”

Because I literally couldn’t come up with a single benefit to co-sleeping on my own, I looked it up. Google says the benefits of co-sleeping are: 

• Bonding: Builds closeness and security.
• Physical Health: Lowers blood pressure, boosts immunity.
• Mental Health: Lifts mood, reduces anxiety.
• Relationship: Strengthens connection.
• Companionship: Fulfills social needs.
• Oxytocin: Releases “happy” hormones.
• Communication: Helps spot sleep issues.

Team, I am only gaining all of the benefits listed above if I’m actually sleeping! The poor man I share my bed with only has to wiggle his nose at night and I’m up for hours. This is not fair pressure to put on a relationship. So, all I want for Christmas is recognition that not everyone benefits from co-sleeping. All I want for Christmas this year is separate beds, like Lucy and Desi in the early years—and if you don’t know who Lucy and Desi are, you’re likely already sleeping through the night, so this post doesn’t apply to you. 

Now, my grandparents slept in completely separate bedrooms and while I didn’t understand it then, it does make more sense to me every second I age. But, having said that, Google has a point. I don’t want to be in my own room. I love chatting with G Man Master De at night, or in the morning (especially when I can’t get back to sleep.) But I can absolutely do that from my very own single bed on my side of the room. Right now, we’re in a king bed, but with my new “I Love Lucy” plan…? Guys, it’ll be like a hotel room—jumping from bed to bed, pillow fights, even playing Don’t Touch the Ground—it’s gonna be amazing!

Now, I know my room makeover isn’t going to happen this Christmas, or anytime soon, but I love thinking of ways to reinvent my life to work best for me. That reinvention can look like questioning traditions, approaching something old in a new way, or choosing to invest in personal development. Whatever isn’t working, daydreaming about a solution shows I’m motivated to advocate for my well being. And, it also shows me that I’m not in a place where I blame other people for my unhappiness. Unless they’re snoring!

Ok Team, I am super excited about next week’s episode. I am inviting my buddy Julie Fitzpatrick to join me in the studio. Julie submitted a glowing poem during our Summer Submission campaign in August. The topic of her piece is the Before and After of being in the wrong romantic union. Given that none of my posts tackle the significant life challenge of divorce, I thought this was the perfect time of year to acknowledge that not everyone’s life is full of joy and cheer during the holidays. Also, Julie’s poems are best experienced in her own voice. This woman’s words and delivery have brought me to tears on many many occasions. As soon as I received her submission, I was so excited to share her magic with all of you. So, Team, let’s show up for our fellow teammate Julie Fitzpatrick next Friday. But until then, thanks so much for listening TeamConfessioners!