My computer and I are in an abusive relationship. So good-looking, smart, helpful, funny, but also so unreasonable—always pointing out what I haven’t done, and constantly giving me more to do. I’d love to break-up for good, but that’s not going to happen. But, now that I realize this is the single most codependent relationship I’ve ever been in—I need a break.

Professionals say a clear sign that things are getting bad is when my sense of purpose is wrapped up in making extreme sacrifices to satisfy my computer’s needs. They go on to declare that the first step in getting my life back on track is to understand that I’m in a pattern in which I’ve become dependent on technology’s approval for my self-worth and identity. 

Team, can I get an Amen? This is exactly what’s going on.

While I don’t see us parting ways, we are going to have to agree to see other people. Like, human people. You know… people who breathe, and smile, and laugh, and cry, and spell things wrong—those kinds of people.

Dear Mac,

Even you told me (via WebMD) that it’s important I set clear boundaries with you and find other hobbies that make me happy. Vacation is coming and you should know that I need a break from giving up my human needs to meet your synthetic needs. You’ll be locked in a safe for a week while I remind myself that wasting time is just as important as being productive.

So there you have it. Enjoy the safe. iPhone will be in there too. You two better behave—keep your keys to yourselves… or don’t—I don’t really care. I’ll be too busy taking deep breaths and watching clouds roll by.