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The Cost of Guilt – Learning My Value

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In 2026โ€”thereโ€™s almost nothing I canโ€™t Google or learn from a podcast or AI. If I need free support, itโ€™s online. But for a long time, I really struggled with paying for help. It felt like I was dipping into the family pot for something that, at the end of the day, I could go without. After all, there were orthodontist bills, travel teams, and camps to think about.

One of the ugly side effects of the belief that I wasnโ€™t worth spending money on was what it did to my relationships. I would see other women splurge on themselves and use this phrase Iโ€™ve come to absolutely hate: โ€˜Isnโ€™t it nice she can afford that.โ€™ Now, Team, I fully believed it came down to money โ€” as if the only issue at hand was that someone had expendable income and I didnโ€™t. It took me years to realize that it wasnโ€™t about money at allโ€”it was about value. These women valued themselves and were willing to show that by investing in their own health and wellbeing. Something I couldnโ€™t do until I was willing to better understand my guilt.

It was when I felt my resentment bleeding into my relationships with my children and my husband that I finally got desperate enough to do something about it. Women I trusted encouraged me to invest in myself in small ways at first: a few hours of childcare, a new pair of jeans that actually fit me, a trip to the nail salon. And it was this quote that got me through those early years:

Feel the guilt and do it anyway.

Team, those words got me to go from feeling shameful for wanting to hire a babysitter for a few hours to, years later, investing in an entire week away from my family at a yoga retreat. โ€˜Feel the guilt and do it anyway?โ€™ Our Capital One card agrees. But, in all seriousness, what I didnโ€™t see back then, but I can see now, was the cost of not investing in myself. The animosity wasnโ€™t just internal. It started breeding quiet bitterness throughout my whole life. And, in the end, the guilt wasnโ€™t protecting anyone. When I invest in myself, the return shows up in places money canโ€™t measure โ€” not just relief, but real restoration for me and my relationships.

If this topic resonates with you, Iโ€™m putting a bunch of posts about money and investing in ourselves in the show notes, so you can check those out. And how about you, Teamโ€”any reflections on money youโ€™d like to share? Iโ€™d really love to hear from you in the comment section below.

Happy, happy Easter and Passover to all of our listeners who are observing this weekend. Itโ€™s been a long winter in New England so Iโ€™m thrilled to be welcoming in April. Have a lovely weekend, and thanks so much for listening~

Links:
Doubt – How a Broken Camera Motivated Me to Recommit to My Mission
Losing Money – From Financial Faceplants to Silver Linings
Throw Money – The Solution to Almost Every Problem

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  1. I quite resonate with this post – thanks for sharing <3

    • Yay–I’m so happy I’m not the only one!
      Thanks so much for checking in Keels~

Welcome to my blog turned podcast! Here you can listen or read about whatโ€™s on my mind as I try my best to recover from screaming at my kids and nagging the bejesus out my husband.

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