Recently, I Whoogled a friend about a travel decision we needed to make. After reflecting on our conversation, I was overwhelmed by her total acceptance of me. She patiently talked through the decision process with me and completely validated every single one of my concerns.

My tendency is to assume or demand that my family and friends are farther down the road of understanding than they truly are. I can get frustrated when they don’t respond to me or to life in a manner that I feel is appropriate. I can also become easily distracted by how their behavior or performance is affecting me, rather than thinking about where they’re coming from in a given situation.

My friend provided such a crucial reminder about meeting people where they’re at. It felt incredible to be fully loved, with the added benefit of not feeling at all judged. That’s how I want to love people. I want to love people where they’re at. Unless, where they’re at is not helping to empty the dishwasher. In that case—all bets are off.