Several weeks ago the quote, “You can have it all, you just can’t have it all at once,” crossed my path again. I thought it might be a reminder from my Higher Power that I needed to focus on the kids’ needs more. I’m all too aware that before I know it, they’ll be off to college and I don’t want to squander that time away without intention. Because January and February are cyclically slower months for photography, I was able to arrange my workday to head in from the office when they got off the bus.
As the weeks past, I noticed an energy shift in our house. Frustration levels were higher, patience levels were lower and everyone was overall a little grumpier. While this could just be Winter in New England Blues, I think MamaDe was spending a little too much time keeping the house, and the schedule, and the children in ‘tip-top’ shape. When MamaDe does that, she starts to care a little too much about everything.
Then the phone started ringing and I got a few calls for new projects at work. It didn’t take long to feel another energy shift in our home, but this time it was within me.
When I’m feeling low, I try to go through the laundry list of self-care routines to make sure that I’m taking responsibility to fill my cup. But, I always seem to forget how imperative it is for my mental health, and overall happiness, to be passionate about what I’m doing. Right now I might not be able to devote the time to my company that I would if I didn’t have children, but that doesn’t mean I have to deny my family the mother I am when I’m excited about what’s going on in my own life. I’m pretty certain God and my children don’t long for me to walk in the back door every day at 3:30 pm just so I can yell at everyone to put their shoes in the bin, hang up their coats, do their homework, and stop feeding the dog peanut butter from the same spoon they’re eating off of. The kids can totally wait till 5 pm for that.
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