What is with my strange compulsion of needing to “repay” people the moment they do something kind for me? I often don’t even take the time to be grateful for what they’ve done before launching into a hyperdrive thought-stream of what I’m going to do to repay them. What the hell?
When I approach giving this way, I completely miss the mark. Giving’s not a back and forth, it’s a circle. A wise buddy of mine noticed my discomfort when accepting something from her and suggested, “Just let me do something nice for you. You don’t have to do anything for me in return. There are no strings attached, Mags. Just accept the love.” Yikes!
And that’s just it, right? A lot of people give with strings attached. So many strings, I’ve choked on all those strings. But, I don’t have to live my life like that. And it’s really none of my flipping business if someone else chooses to keep score. I can choose to trust that the opportunity to repay the kindness will come in God’s time. And by doing that, I teach myself (and my kids) what it looks like to both give and receive without resentment, expectations, or guilt.
Awe wait—crap. Does this mean I have to stop saying, “For all I do for you, you can’t unload the dishwasher?” Yeah, I don’t see that happening any time soon…baby steps, Team.
You better have FEND FOR YOURSELF DAY blocked off in your calendar!!!
December 26th, 2021
If you have no idea what I’m talking about READ THIS
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Julie Fitzpatrick says:
I hear that, Mags. Thanks for sharing. Here’s to baby steps.
-J
mags says:
This is one of those posts that you write and then life comes at you with a, “Don’t forget what you were just saying to other people, Mags…accept that help honey!”
Friggin’ life.
I hope you had a lovely Christmas!