Last month, I shared a Life Balance Wheel with our TeamConfessions subscribers. Team, please email me if you missed that link in your Confessions Friday email from March 27th. But, do you guys remember when we talked about the Connection/Fun category? The question we were encouraged to ask ourselves was: Am I allowing space for pleasure that isn’t tied to productivity or responsibility? Team, I haven’t stopped thinking about that question, and it’s precisely because of those two friggin’ words: productivity and responsibility. 

Friends, for over two decades our family arguably ran on the fuel of my efficacy and accountability. And as a result, I think a lot of my identity is wrapped up in that role. But now that I have half the number of kids in the house, I’m really struggling with the change of pace. There are times when I find myself staring off into space for a moment of peace. But, instead of enjoying that time, I quickly try to snap myself out of it for fear that the obligation-train is going to run my ass over if I don’t get right back to my servitude to the family schedule.

One of my recurring dreams, when the four kids were home, Team, was that I was sprinting as fast as I could right in front of a steam train that was about to run me over. Nothing says “balanced psyche” like running from trains in your dreams. And while now I know that I have the power to just step to the side, there’s a part of that pace that I kept for so many years that hasn’t left me yet. 

This uneasiness that I can’t shake sometimes, feels like the perfect opportunity for me to just observe rather than judge. Notice the feeling and try to change the script:

• Mags, for many years you felt you had to make the most of every single moment to stay on track—you don’t have to do that anymore.

• You’re allowed to enjoy your life, not just manage it.

• Mags, this moment of peace isn’t laziness—it’s balance.

• You’re not behind Mags, you’re just breathing.

Ok Team, in review:

Step one: observe the feeling.

Step two: change the script.

Step three: try not to immediately start doing laundry or putting dishes away.

This all feels very healthy and self-aware right now guys, but let’s see what happens the next time I accidentally relax. 

How about you guys? Do you ever feel strange taking it easy and allowing yourself to waste time? I’d love to hear from you in the comment section below.

Next week we’ll be chatting about a crazy thought I had during one of my middle-of-the-night perimenopause executive strategy meetings. It has something to do with families and school pride. Weird connection? Well, hopefully it’ll make sense during the day, but… I guess we’ll all find out next week. Until then, happy spring—and thanks so much for listening.