As Mom and I were navigating her first week of chemotherapy treatment, I was introduced to Donald Winnecott’s concept of the Good Feed. The Good Feed is the idea that when a baby’s hungry, we feed it. When the baby is wet, we change it. When the baby is tired, we put it down for a nap. The Bad Feed would be if a child were hungry and we put it down for a nap. Or, if it were wet and we decided to feed it—you catch my drift. With a baby, we do our best to pay attention and to figure out what the baby truly needs at that moment.

Don’t worry Team, I’m not pregnant again. I’m writing this to remember the Good Feed for myself. I can be someone who reaches for the remote when I really need fresh air, or for my phone when I really need rest, or for food when I truly need connection with myself or others.

As I walk with Mom through what can be a depleting journey, it’s important to take a moment to ask myself: What are you really hungry for right now? Because, when I don’t pay attention to my own needs, I seem to miss the mark on honoring myself with what will truly feed both my body and my soul.