Do you guys ever have those days when you look at your dog and say, “You’re the only one around here who really loves me. You don’t give me crap about anything, you don’t talk back—you’re the best dog in the whole world!”? For years, when I was in that place where everyone around me felt like the problem, I convinced myself that I had nothing to do with it. I now know: If I’m having issues with everyone around me, I’M the issue! 

The pattern seems to go something like this: For whatever reason, I get into a funk. It could be something that happened or didn’t happen, it could be I’m exhausted, hungry, you name it. The point is, I become a prickly pear. My tone changes, my word choices change, I easily find fault with what others are doing and how they’re doing it. When I’m letting off all of that negative energy, people don’t want to be around me. When people don’t want to be around me, I feel even more alone, misunderstood, and underappreciated—and around and around we go! But now, when I’m highly offended that people are dodging me at every turn, I can honestly ask myself: Mags, would you want to be around you right now?!

I know it’s perfectly ok for me to go through low times. But when I start taking other people down with me, that’s when I benefit from, as we’ve heard, Putting down the magnifying glass and picking up the mirror. When I take the time to look closely, ya know what I usually find? It’s not all the external stuff that’s upsetting me. What’s upsetting me is an intense, deeply buried yearning for someone else to save me. I want someone else to see my pain and my struggles. And, I want them to swoop in and take away all the discomfort and hurt. For years, I was waiting for rescue. My mindset only changed once I learned that I had the power to take away my own pain. And that one lesson set me on the path to break free from the fruitless cycle of waiting and waiting for someone else to save me.

I’m blessed to have loving people around me who can support my journey toward brighter times, but ultimately, my contentment is my responsibility. Of course I still slip into “save me” mode on occasion. But offering myself compassion pilots me out of my prickly pear pity party so much faster than waiting for someone else to do the job. Team, I’m usually just tired. Trying to maintain passion and balance in the midst of work and relationships and parenting and life feels paralyzing at times. But, now my crappy attitude can act as a red flag for me to recognize my need for rest. I either need to do less or ask for more help, but either way,  it’s up to me to create that plan for renewal. 

I hope everyone who celebrates Thanksgiving had a peaceful and safe holiday. The next time we connect, it’s going to be December! And, as always, we’ll kick off the month with our annual, “All I Want for Christmas” post. I’ll give you a hint: ya can’t buy what I want for Christmas in a store! But it’s a gift that I can both hopefully get and give to others this holiday season. You’ll have to tune in next week and find out what it is! Have a lovely weekend everyone~