Excited, Not Stressed – Keeping the Joy This Holiday

As kids, when we had a friend coming to spend the night after school on Friday, the end of the week couldn’t come fast enough, right? Now, Team, I never once as a child thought to myself, “I’m so stressed that my friend is coming over this weekend.” I was always just excited.

As an adult, I naturally get a little ramped up when an event is approaching, people are coming to visit, or a holiday is on the horizon. But living in an environment where we hear the word “stress” almost every day, I have to remind myself that an increase in kinetic energy around me doesn’t have to automatically get categorized as stress. 

I understand that now I have more responsibility than I did when I was a child, but I’m reminded of four ways I can avoid turning my excitement (which is joyful) into stress (which is horrible):

1. Check the expectations I set for myself.

I love to remind other people, “You’re just one pie—you only have so many slices.” But I can’t tell you how many times I’ve needed to heed my own annoying advice. It bothers the crap out of me, because I truly want to do so much, but Team—I’m only one friggin’ pie. That’s why thinking about all the tasks ahead of time helps me so much. I’m able to prioritize the things that are truly going to keep me excited, and eliminate the things that are going to stress me the heck out.

2. Set realistic timelines.

Friends, life has a sneaky way of trying to convince me to fit too much into short periods of time. So, I’ve decided my to-don’t list needs much more of my attention than my to-do list. Having too many tasks scheduled gets me all sorts of frazzled. I can take back the joy by being super reasonable with how and what I expect of myself in one day.

3. Ask for help, or accept it when it’s offered.

I can almost see it in slow motion: someone offers help, and before the words even leave their mouth, I’m already shutting it down. And, Team, it’s always about control, control, control. I either want to control the task myself or I want to be the one who decides when someone gets to help me: on my terms, on my timeline. This is a personal pattern I have to get honest about, especially when there’s more on my plate. Saying “yes, please” is how I lighten the load.

4. Don’t catch someone else’s stress.

Sometimes that racing feeling in my body isn’t even mine—I’m just picking up on the vibes around me. And since we all know I’m an emotional sponge, I have to be careful not to “catch” someone else’s stress. We all have those people in our lives who take on so much all year, but especially during the holidays. I can take a step back from those connections when the pressure is on. And honestly, they don’t have time to talk to me anyway—they have too much to do!

This year, all the college kids are coming in for a giant sleepover. Knowing we’re all going to be together can snap me into production mode—What can I do to show my deep love for everyone? But this time, I’m going to remind myself, Protect that excitement in your heart. If something is going to create overwhelm, it’s simply not worth it.

I know my kids would always prefer an excited mom over a stressed-out mom. I’m keeping the joy this holiday—MamaDe’s not ruining this sleepover. I can spend the next few weeks feeling exactly like I did leading up to those Friday afternoons as a child. 

And kids—don’t forget to pack your sleeping bag, pillow, and walkie-talkies.